Winter clothes

We had our first frost last night and it was a chilly, foggy morning. For the first time since April I had to put on a coat. I dug it out of the closet and swung it on without thinking. It fits. Better than I remember.

When you gain weight, it accumulates gradually, and the small adjustments and indignities you endure seem manageable because they too accumulate gradually over a long period of time. If you were to gain the weight all at once -- imagine waking up with an extra 40 pounds -- all these changes would seem much more shocking. But, being spread out, they aren't so bad. It's the same in the other direction, I'm sure.

My leather jacket (one I've had for many years) used to stretch uncomfortably around the waist and I could feel my gut rummaging inside the lining as I walked. That feeling is suddenly gone. For a moment, it felt like I just woke up and lost 40 pounds.

I also seem to have acquired a habit I need to break. When I put the jacket on, I grab the two low corners in front where the zipper meets. Unconsciously, I grabbed the ends and swung my hands out to really yank the waistband out, then whipped the points together in front. Only problem is, I don't need to stretch out the waistband anymore; the jacket falls together naturally without yanking.

Some kind of empty feeling. (How droll.)


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